Right answers no valen madre

By Oscar Rodriguez

Published May 28, 2025 at 6:00 AM CDT

Órale, the onda of the week is the word tapado. In modern Spanish, it means covered or clogged, as in a lid or drain pipe. But in Caló, tapado means somebody can’t connect the dots or see what may seem obvious to others. The term doesn’t fit within the 5-tiered scale of stupid (baboso-pendejo-menso-sonso-tarugo). It’s not that a tapado lacks an IQ point or two. It’s that they are blind to particular insight, perhaps locked on the wrong paradigm or simply too wishful for the opposite result. In this sense, a die-hard fan of a team that always loses is a tapado. Someone who believes in a candidate or romantic interest and overlooks obvious flaws is a tapado. Fortunately, being tapado is not congenital or an irreversible state because tapados can overcome their deficit, but they inevitably need help or an intervention of some kind to finally see the light.

Another D. Boy couldn’t believe it— couldn’t figure it out. The math test had been easy for him. He completed it without doubting his answers to any of the questions. Same as the previous test. Yet here he was staring at another poor grade marked prominently at the top of the test he’d taken the previous week.

“I suppose I should be thankful it’s not an F,” Boy thought to himself.

He shook his head despondently.

“Qué onda, ese?” asked Givvy, who always sat behind Boy in every class.

Boy didn’t respond and just kept shaking his head.

Weeks passed and a new test date arrived. Boy double-prepared for it this time. And as he went problem-set by problem-set, he checked and re-checked each of his answers. Even so, he finished ahead of everybody in class.

The following week, the teacher was out all week, and a young woman had stepped in as a substitute. When time came to hand back the graded tests, he was very pleased to see an A+ marked on the top of his test, with an added comment of “TERRIFIC JOB. ALL CORRECT ANSWERS!”

“What’d you get?” Givvy asked.

“A+. You?” Boy said.

“C, cuz she didn’t count my explanations,” said Givvy.

“What explanations?” asked Boy.

“About how I got to the answers. You get points for explaining even if the answer’s wrong,” Givvy said.

Boy heard a click in his mind and winced.

“Ask her why she didn’t count the explanations,” Boy said to Givvy.

“Hey, teacher, why didn’t you count my explanations?” Givvy blurted out.

“Your teacher count’s them?” the young substitute asked.

“Uhuh. I always get a good grade if I give the explanations,” said Givvy.

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” she said.

“How many of you got lower grades than usual but included explanations?” she asked the class out loud.

The majority of the class raised a hand.

Boy was surprised.

“I never heard that,” he said to Givvy.

“Oh, simón, she always says explain your answers,” Givvy said.

“Pos I only give the answer, and they’re always right,” Boy said.

“You’re tapado, ese. The right answers no valen madres. The explanations get more points. Watches?” Givvy said.