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I get achinada if I even hear his name


The word for this episode of Caló is achinar. It means to have your hair stand up, as in get mad.

“So what happened to your gabacho boyfriend?” Cuito asked Tita, his neighbor, when he saw her step onto her front yard.

“We wasn’t a gabacho, just güero, a blonde. Why don’t people understand that?” Tita replied.

“Pos, I don’t care either way. I was just wondering why I haven’t seen his truck parked in front of you chante any more. He was always friendly to me,” said Cuito.

“I ran the vato off cuz he wanted to get married,” said Tita.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing if everything else was working out,” said Cuito.

“Pos if you like him, ponle, go on ahead,” said Tita.

“You won’t marry güeros? Or you didn’t like his politics?” Cuito persisted.

“I only want boyfriends, no more husbands. I never liked it, and I’m too old to try again. And that güero se sale. He treated me like I was going to break or cry all the time. He wanted to do all the cooking. He even suggested I stop carrying my 45 — what a mensote! I told him that was it. That I didn’t want any more arm candy,” said Tita, her voice now tight with tension.

“What was his name? He never told me, just waved whenever he saw me,” said Cuito.

“I don’t even want to say or hear his name. I get achinada even thinking about him,” said Tita.

“He makes you achinar? Sounds like a big fight,” said Cuito.

“Chale. Just a big get out,” said Tita.

“Po if I had a big güera like that, I’d be pretty happy about it,” said Cuito.

“Pos like I already said. He’s free now in case you’re interested,” said Tita gruffly.

“You don’t have to get achinada with me, esa,” I was just checking on you.

“Pos I don’t need any vato checking on me — güerote, big blonde, or prietote, big brunette,” said Tita.

“Pos I liked it that he distracted you enough that you stop feeding the stray cats, esa,” said Cuito.

“That’s another thing I didn’t like about that güero. I told him, mind your own business cuz you’re stressing me and the cats out,” said Tita.

“And you better cut your onda too, vato. These cats know when I get achinada, and they don’t like it,” Tita said to Cuito pointedly.

“Eeee! Your cats are so sura,” said Cuito.

Oscar Rodriguez is the creator and host of Caló.