As he was walking to La Buena Bakery to coffee with Meche, his childhood near-girlfriend, one Friday morning, Boy was struck by a bad memory. It was an embarrassing event he initiated in the seventh grade that went bad despite a lot of planning and practice. The implosion occurred only in the presence of Meche, but he felt embarrassed because she quickly pointed out how pendeja the idea was.
The plan was to repeat a romantic dialogue he saw on TV to a girl from Spanish class he wanted to impress. The spiele was from a detective who caught the eye of a woman librarian as he was researching something related to a case he was working. The librarian had helped him catch a clue he’d missed. As the detective was leaving, he gave the librarian a long, facetious thank you on his and all humanity’s behalf. The point was subtle, a come on packaged in a sincere thanks and praise.
“I can’t say much about it right now, but perhaps after I’m done saving the world I’ll come back and talk to you about it over cocktails?” the detective told the librarian in a deadpan tone and half smile. The librarian’s face beamed.
The scene impressed Boy. The entire dialogue replayed repeatedly in in his mind. The next day, he called out Meche in the hallway to practice it in front of her.
“It’s stupid, Boy,” Meche interrupted him right after he said “save the world.”
“But wait…,” Boy tried to say.
“Who you gonna say it to?” Meche asked holding back her laughter.
“Never mind,” said Boy.
“You say that to anybody in school and everybody’ll be making fun of you,” Meche warned.
“No it’s a cleaver pickup line?” Boy asked.
“It’s a menso a pickup line?” Meche asked laughing.
Boy walked away and never tried it out.
Many years and a college degree later, Boy felt more certain that the old dialogue would’ve been a hit. He thought he’d ask Meche if she felt differently about it now.
“Oh, I never forgot—still laugh about it.
“Laugh? Porqué?” he asked.
“Cuz you said you were gonna save the world,” she said.
“Chale. It’s an expression, a pickup line from a TV show. Watcha, I have it on my phone,” Boy said, pulling out his cell phone and searching the old clip.
“…after I’m done saving the world, I’ll come back…” said the detective to the librarian.
“Oh, that’s a pretty cleaver line. It would’ve been a hit,” said Meche.
“But back then you said it was stupid,” protested Boy.
“Pos you said it so tartamoche that it sounded like a mamón Superman telling somebody ‘I’m gonna blast off y save the pinche world,” Meche mocked him.
Boy looked up and shook his head.
“Now you tell me,” he said.
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