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That’d even scare La Llorona

Órale, the onda this week is La Llorona (the female crier), a scary mythical character that evolved from Spanish colonial times. There are many versions of the myth. All of them center on a woman who cries by the river for her children. There are many different stories about who she really is, why she’s crying and whether it’s a tale or a real story. La Llorona is alternatively crying because her children have been drowned by their father or because she drowned them. There’s also an interpretation that La Llorona’s a metaphor for La Malinche, a famous Aztec historical figure who married a Spanish conquistador in 1492 and divulged her country’s strategic weaknesses and divisions. In this version of the myth, the children for whom La Llorona cries are really her kin and countrymen who’d been metaphorically drowned by the conquistadors. The myth is retold from Chile to Colorado.

“Got an idea,” Givvy told Boy while they were doing the vuelta one Sunday afternoon in late-October.

Boy knew what it was and didn’t want to hear it because it involved a double-date with him entertaining the sister of a ruca Givvy wanted to court. The worst part was that the sister he was going to keep company once told him for no apparent reason she didn’t like him.

Boy tried to ignore Givvy in the hope he’d drop it.

A while later, Givvy spoke up again.

“Ese, let’s stop and wave down Raquell and her sister to join us?” he said.

After some coaxing, Boy stopped and parked.

A while later, Raquell and her sister cruised by.

“Stop and say hi!” Givvy yelled, waving.

Raquell smiled but kept driving.

“Shhhh. They didn’t hear me,” Givvy said.

Boy kept quiet.

“Let’s follow’em,” Givvy insisted.

Boy got back on the road, but the rucas weren’t in sight.

They cruised for hours and didn’t see them.

“Qué onda?” Givvy asked.

Boy shrugged.

“Let’s go to their chante,” Givvy said.

“Chale. Their jefito’s a fierce vato,” Boy said.

“We’ll just cruise by. If they’re there, we go home cuz they’re not in the vuelta,” Givvy said.

Boy, feeling done with the vuelta, nodded.

“If their car’s there, le ponemos,” he repeated Givvy’s deal.

“Siról,” confirmed Givvy.

Boy wound through the Southside until they reached Raquell’s home on a short dead-end street.

“Slow down,” Givvy insisted.

Boy slowed down, but not on his own accord, because a big vato stepped in the middle of the street.

“Qué onda? Why you ruquitos cruising by here?” the vato asked menacingly through the front passenger window.

“Just cruising by,” said Givvy.

The vato looked over to the end of the street, which required a 5-point turn to get out.

“Watcha. You ever hear of La Llorona?” the vato asked.

Givvy nodded.

“You ever see her?” the vato asked.

Givvy shook his head.

“Nobody’s ever seen her cuz she’s too scary. Pos, even she doesn’t by here. Why? Cuz we got things here that’d even scare La Llorona. You better ponerle or you’re gonna find out what that is,” the vato said.

Givvy nodded.

Boy nodded, too, drove part way into the driveway next door, backed up and headed out.

“Let’s go home,” Givvy said.

“Oralé,” Boy said.

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Oscar Rodriguez is the creator and host of Caló.