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Lost the onda

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Órale, the feature of this episode is the term ir de onda. In Spanish, it means depart from or lose the wavelength, as in a connection with a radio station frequency. In Caló, it means to lose sense of direction or the thread of the conversation. You lose the onda when you’re distracted or suddenly something shinier, louder, or more urgent steals your attention.

The vato became an even bigger hit after his interview at the evening talk show. His phone blew up when he got home the next day.

“Hey you wanna come on the Good Morning Show in two days? Everybody loved how you chopped up Carson and his guest, as if they were gonna ambush you but you got’em first,” a man said excitedly on the phone.

“Órale. Back to New York? I’ll do it,” the vato said.

He kept his suitcase packed as it was and flew out the next day.

The mood on the set was a lot friendlier this time. More guests seated next to him. Everybody smiling, including the camera and backstage staff.

He was ushered in with a big announcement.

“Let’s welcome our guest from the movie everybody’s talking about. They guy who was supposed to be background but is now a bigger sensation than the featured movie stars,” the host said.

The vato came on the set to a big round of applause that kept going even after he sat down.

“Thanks. Thanks a lot,” he said.

“So tell us what happened. How did you come to outshine even the big movie stars in the film,” the host asked.

“Pos, I was just walking by and heard that line about ‘now that we’re alone,’ and I just looked over and thought that couldn’t be true, watchas,” the vato said.

Everybody on the set laughed.

“So what do you think the movie was really about?” one of the other guests asked.

“I think it was about looking back and trying to correct a romance that went bad because of a bad line. So the main stars head to the street to search for what went bad and they find it was just one bad line,” the vato said.

“Wait. Wasn’t it a cowboy movie?” the host asked.

“Pos there were guys in hats and boots, but they rode in pickup trucks. There’s no cowboys anymore. That went away a long time ago. I guess they lost to the Indians or something. The actors were just acting like they worked on ranches, but they didn’t know anything and didn’t talk ni madres like cowboys,” the vato said.

Everybody on the set went silent, as if expecting him to start laughing and letting them in on a joke.

The vato didn’t say anything. He merely waited for the next question.

“But the title of the movie has the word ‘cowboys’ in it. And there were horses everywhere, including on the ranch where most of the scenes took place,” the host pointed out.

“Eee! I lost the onda de amadres,” the vato said.

Oscar Rodriguez is the creator and host of Caló.